You know that feeling where, no matter how many hours you spend in prayer and worship, or how many time you devote to reading and studying God's work, you just can’t seem to reach God?
Well, not too long ago, I found myself at that lonely place, once again. I knew I had to do something to try and get out of that position. I knew that I couldn’t just sit back and allow the enemy to enjoy the all-consuming sorrow that started to grow in me.
So, I did the only thing I could think to do. I asked God for a sign, a sign that He is still listening to my heart's cries, a sign that He is still hearing my prayers, and that He will still answer them in His perfect time. A sign that it was not all for nothing.
The sign? A flower. A flower somewhere I haven’t seen one before.
I quickly realized that this meant that I could see a flower on my laptop's ever-changing wallpaper, on a billboard, on an advertisement or even on a social media notification. I had to be open to receive this sign, in any way that God thought it fit to show me, in any way He thought it appropriate to show me He is still listening and still hearing my pleas.
So, I went about my daily tasks and responsibilities, anxiously waiting on God to confirm His listening ears. And there it was… a bunch of delicate purple flowers, in the middle of a patch of dry, winter grass. A soft smile spread across my face, I thanked God for showing me that He was still there, that He was still listening.
But, like the flawed human being I am, a part of me still doubted. I talked myself into believing that it was just a coincidence. I started to, once again, believe the lies of the enemy, telling me that it wasn’t God that showed me the flowers.
Yet, despite my sinful nature, the Holy Spirit prompted me to keep my eyes open. He assured me that God will come through once again, He would not leave me uncertain and doubtful about what His heart is for me.
It wasn’t long before I saw some flowers again. These flowers were on a billboard sign that I had never noticed before. I never knew that three colourfully animated flowers could bring me so much joy! I was overwhelmed by the goodness and faithfulness of our Lord and Saviour.
The smile on my face came from my heart. God is so faithful! This time around, I knew He heard me and listened to my heart. I knew He was still listening and was still there, like He promised He always will be. I went about my day, satisfied that I got the answer I was looking for, the answer I was longing for. My spirit was lifted, once again, by the love of our heavenly Father.
Knowing how our Father works in mysterious ways, I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that He exceeded my expectations, but I was astounded. God took my breath away with what happened next. One of my colleagues gave me two small yesterday-today-and-tomorrow flowers. One white and one purple.
Dumbfounded won’t begin to describe what I felt in that moment. I was flooded with a mixture of emotions, overwhelmed by the nature of God. Not only did I receive actual flowers from someone (which almost never happens, by the way), but on top of that it was a flower that signified the consistency of God to me (Hebrews 13:8). These were the flowers that opened in purple, faded to lavender and then to white – all in three days! The exact same number of days it took Jesus to overcome death and give you and me a second chance at everlasting life with Him (1 Corinthians 15:4).
On my way home, I was admiring these two tiny flowers. It was only then that I noticed all the detail in the soft flower petals. This flower was so simple, yet so intricately woven together. And at that exact moment, the Holy Spirit lovingly whispered to me that, that is exactly how God listens to us: In detail. God not only hears our words, but He listens to our hearts.
I realize now how beautiful it is that God knows our sin, He knows the desires of our flesh, He knows what we are lacking, He knows we are far from perfect. Yet, He is still there, with a desire stronger than we can even imagine, longing to be involved in even the smallest details of our lives. He still fights for us to see and experience the truth of His love and grace. He still leans in and listens – in detail – what we are saying to Him in prayer and even to the wordless groanings of our hearts (Romans 8:26). God is still present; God is still there with every single breath you take. If you ever find yourself doubting this magnificent truth, ask for a sign and God will prevail. He never seizes to amaze and leave us in awe and wonder. What a beautiful King we serve!